Mom Exchange

If you are a MomEx frequent visitor you may have noticed our recent 'Sex Education In Schools?' polls. We started the poll on June 22 to run for a month. Here are the results:

Just when I thought that our life as a small brood of three couldn’t get any better, I received a most pleasant and unexpected surprise – a simple yet extremely wonderful addition to the loving family! But alas, I had just begun to enjoy our brand new Ipod Touch Third Gen when my wife broke more important news which hit me like a ton of bricks. “I’m pregnant!”

And as a yellow Angry Bird sped towards the evil pig’s fortress on the Ipod’s screen*, I froze with mouth agape, stammering at my wife. “But, but…why…how…when...???” OK, maybe this isn’t the right venue to discuss the how’s and when’s. I realized, though, that in a few months’ time, the family’s comfortable routine since our firstborn child began sleeping through the night would crumble to the ground like a swine’s castle of wood, glass, and stone*.

Don’t get me wrong. After hearing the news and getting over the initial shock, I willfully entered into a more prepared state of panic. How in heaven’s name could I afford to have another kid? Our eldest has just started attending kindergarten (or the institution I affectionately refer to as “money-siphoning rip-off posing as a fun place to learn”), and now I would have to once again contend with the costs of hospital bills, monthly OB-GYN / pediatrician visits, diapers, baby accessories, and bottles of anti-depressants (for me)?

We think that our eldest is funny in an intelligent way --- he likes using word play a lot (e.g., homonyms). Our youngest, on the other hand, is just plain funny! He's 5 and a half and here are some of our conversations:

(Lupang Hinirang playing on the background.)
K (excitedly): Mommy, mommy! I know that song!!!
Me: Really? So what is it?
K: It's the national item, right?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(After having his first ever Filipino class that day at school.)
K (proudly): Mommy! I had Filipino today. I know how to say "mommy" in Filipino.
Me (excited): Oh yeah? What nga?
K: Nanay, right?
Me (proud): Aba, you're right! Wow! How about "daddy", how do you say "daddy" in Filipino?
K (pondering -- as in thinking face): Uhm, is it -- papay?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(over dinner we were discussing languages, and the dogs)
FIL: Galing ng mga aso natin, nakakaintindi ng Bisaya (Waray) at English!
K (mad): No! Dogs speak --- Doglish.
(HAHAHAHAHAHA!)
Me (laughing): Kev, what's Doglish? Give me a sample nga.
K: Arf.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Hi, please see if you are any of the winners below. If so, please email me your contact details at jencctan @ gmail . com so we can contact you about claiming prizes.

Thanks!!

(PS - Suzanne, oks na!)

Jen wasn't available that day, so she sent me to cover a talk held by Norton expert Effendy Ibrahim re the Norton Online Family Report, a local study they conducted online from April to May this year. It promised to reveal interesting results particularly re:

• The gaps between Filipino parents and kids with respect to their online beliefs and behaviours,
• Emotional impact of online experiences on Filipino kids and
• Online ethics or codes of conduct.

Obviously info every parent of a child (specifically, in their report, 10 to 17yr olds), who spends time online should know, so let's get to it, starting with the 'gaps'. A word of warning though: prepare for bad news:

If you're a mom/parent like me, you are too proud (read: mayabang) to have your child tutored. You tend to fix your schedule around the studying time of your kids, in the hopes that this is an investment that they will one day thank you for.

You realize that one is totally different from the other (which reinforces your choice to stop at having two kids), so you end up schizophrenic when you shift from dealing with one to dealing with the other.

Nevertheless, it gives you joy seeing how they finally get what you have been trying to teach them (e.g., "four" vs "for" in math), so you plod on.

My Mom is my idol, so I told myself, no tutors for the boys (there will be a hiccup though, because I will be away for a few days and someone will really have to watch Kevin, so I asked the mom of his friend from school...who's also a tutor, so there's my disclaimer).

There are a few surprises along the way if you're mayabang like me. First is always *always* Chinese. Perhaps the nightmares of being a student in the other school have come back when I see Chinese characters without any phonetics. Yes, I, like most of my peers from school, cannot read Chinese without the phonetics. I'm lost. So when I saw this--

The tagline of Mom Exchange is "celebrating motherhood". When we began MomEx, we felt like we needed to share a message, from moms, by moms. I've said before that I felt that motherhood was a sorority of sorts. And while fathers may not at all feel what we mothers have gone through (pregnancy and birthing at the peak of bring initiated), I'm sure they have their own "rites".

When does a dad feel like a dad? I don't really know, but in our experience, my husband has never been as active in the boys' lives as he is now. In the beginning, it was mostly me (because that was mostly feeding, putting to sleep, bathing...) but now, because of similar interests, the hubby's playing a bigger role in their lives.

For one, I made sure he was active in school. I didn't give him much of a choice. I told him that if he wanted his boys in his alma mater, he should be active in their education. Secondly, the interests of the boys and the hubby have aligned (did boys copy dad or did dad copy boys??). They love gadgets (is that a boy thing?) and watching...(call me a bad mother) "The Big Bang Theory". Lastly, food tastes are so similar! They all love Japanese food (but then again, who doesn't?)!

After attending the school's orientation, I handed to my elder son, Paul, an FAQ handout that was given by his adviser. In it, were (obviously) Qs and As about -- you guessed it -- grades. (Hay, I swear, this is probably brought up by uber grade conscious parents.)

A few nights after, as we were about to go to bed, Paul tells me that he wants to get first honors this year. I expressed my support of his goal. I did explain to him, however, that it would be best if we do this on a quarterly basis, IF he wants an over all first honor. And I also told him that he will most probably have to put in a bit more extra compared to the way we studied last year.

I suddenly remembered that I received an email from someone of how goals should be then -- Specific, Measurable, Attainable and Time-bound (thus, SMART). So I discussed this with Paul. He clearly understood what it would take. Now it is my job to support him in reaching his goals.

I'm hoping that this is the start of something big.

In line with this, MomEx is running a contest together with Kids Watch Central

Here are the mechanics:

Mechanics:

I've been on a roll, lately. Perhaps it's because I've been back in the mom groove. I dunno.

Someone sent a link to an article by a family counselor that I totally can relate with. It was written by Charles Hughes, and this quote totally makes sense to me:

In late 2009, an article about overparenting in Time Magazine came out. It spoke about how parents today tend to "hover" (thus "helicopter, i.e., Sikorsky, parenting") over their kids (maybe like Queena Lee's Overbearing Parents?).

I picked this up from the orientation at school last week as well. Apparently, there are four types of helicopter parents that have been defined in the school setting.